Sobs

It is settled. I’m never good enough for anyone. Being with me is just despicable. Everyone that were with me just left. I hate to admit it i am the most saddest son of a bitch on earth. God is really cruel for making me feel this way. If love was never meant for me than why you show it everywhere? For me to see and not be able to feel it?  I loved her…more than anyone could ever imagine. I never passed my account to any of my other ex’s I never pass my MSN account to any of them either she’s the only one i did. Cause she’s the one i want to be with and there’s no secrets about that. She keeps secrets from me. meessages other guys behind my back. And yet i trust her. Why is that? :( am i blindly in love with her? She’s the most amazing thing that ever happen to me but why her heart belongs to someone else? :( My life seems to have no meaning anymore. letting go is the hardest thing…more of an impossible thing…:’(

I’m sorry my love

Dear farah,

I know how you feel bout people expressing their love to you. I used to feel the same way. But sadly none have ever did that for me. I know alot of other people have been expressing their love for you and you kinda liked it. I can’t blame you :( The truth is i write those blogs not because i’m happy baby…because im miserable. It may sound as if i’m trully in love but the true fact is i’m not. All the people i blogged about are those i fortell would one day leave me. It is just a way for me to console myself that even if they leave i tried my best to make them stay. Those blogs i wrote none of them ever got to read. Because none of them bother to find out what i’ve been up to. It is sad that they didn’t care that much about me ore than themselves. I didn’t do the same thiung to you because you made me happy. For real and i foresee that we will be together for as long as it can be. I forget the feeling how a blog makes people feels. It’s been a long time since i ever felt that way. Forgive me my love i realise that now and i will do everything in my power to make you feel loved. I have no intention of making you feel sad :( i am only human and we do make mistakes or overlook certain things. Please forgive me my love…

Love Aan

Nothing is what it seems. Time doesn’t wait for anyone I suppose, u can only trust someone so much but eventually u will be betrayed. I know for a fact that I can make anyone happy, but not anyone can male me happy. Haizz sucks to be me…

Hafizah

Nobody would have guessed that she was one of my first love :) Yes she is. She’s the reason why i’ve come to be the man i am now. She made me believe that love is real hahaha. Well atleast she was my fairytale back then. We were still small and life was as simple an uncomplicated as it has become now. I like her she likes me, i think hahaha. Never got to ask how she felt for me though. I got to know her from Kindergarten rite up to primary 2 in northland. She was nasty back then hahaha but i guess i like her personality. But i was too shy back then :) Infact the only move i was brave enough to do was give her a birthday present on her birthday. It was funny though that eventough i like her, i was also afraid of her hahaha. Well she will undoubtedly be my most unforgetable fairytale :) times change tough, and she never actually changed much. I remembered her sister and her brother. Her sister was my collegue once upon a time :). Why can’t love be this memorable? no misery, no pain. I wish she knew how i felt bout her. But i guess i was a little too late :) but nobody says i cant tell the whole world about it rite? :)

All I wanted was..

Haizz..why does it haunt me every night. Why do I always get too attached to people? Why do I have to feel every pain and misery in my heart? All I ever wanted was someone to share my joy and sadness together in good times and bad. Someone to stick by my side no matter what happens. Someone to love me for who I am. Someone who cries for me when I’m miserable and smile for me when I’m happy? Someone to talk to about how I feel. Someone who listens, who cares. Someone i could trust. Someone who would never hurt me. Someone who I come back home and say “sayang I love you” every day. Someone who I could watch sleep every night peacefully. And greets me every morning with a kiss and I love you? Why cant I have all those? Issit too much to ask? Issit too much to ask to be loved? :,( I need someone to keep me alive in this wretched world. To keep me going when times are bad. My inspiration, my reason for living. Why do they always leave when I need them most? I want to feel again..I don’t wish to be numb :(( to not feel love ever again..I’m afraid of what will become of me if it ever happens. I don’t wish to be alone :(( am I really destined to be alone. I don’t wish to know but somehow I’m starting to believe it’s true. If it is true..then I wish to just die..

I guess it’s goodbye

I guess in life you can’t always get what you want. I learn that the harder way possible. The most important thing is you have to try, try as hard as possible then and then only can you say it’s fate. Well I guess I shall live without her from now on then :( sad but necessary danm..I hate it when I’m right..again “we were meant to love one another but we are never meant to be together”